It is important that we express our love to and for our loved ones who have returned to Spirit, whenever we feel it. In whatever way we feel like expressing it. "Express" is a word we can use without considering what it really means. To express our love is to move out the emotion of love that we feel inside of us. When we express our love, we allow our love to live outside of us. Expression is incredibly cathartic and healing, especially when we are experiencing loneliness of grief.
We need to move out the challenging emotions, as well as the love and gratitude, so that we become lighter. So that the emotions don't set up in our minds or bodies. Especially in early grief, we may experience an intense mixed bag or storm of emotions while thinking of our beloved. It is natural and healthy to allow ourselves to feel and express it all. Without needing to understand it all. Laughter may follow tears, and tears may follow laughter.
It is in the expression of our love that we will feel the love more intensely.
Expressing our love for our beloved makes us more attuned to the presence of our beloved in the present moment. With us. In the here and now. And we may meet tears in this space of connection. You may find yourself crying from feeling the sheer intensity of love your beloved has for you. I love the tears I have shed in this space. Tears of connection.
His or her loving presence - unbridled and unembodied - may bring you to tears.
We do not have to understand or articulate the complexity or blending of the different 'levels' of emotions we may experience as we express our love. Allow yourself to feel this with no judgment or label. Understand that tears of sorrow often precede tears of connection. Grant yourself grace and space, and give your emotions allowance to live outside of you. Feel the relief and breathe in this space of non-resistance. There is nothing more beautiful than experiencing all of it, the breadth and depth of all the feelings. It is in these moments that we experience what it is to live fully human, and divine.
So express it all. Resist judging yourself or your tears. All of it paves the path to connection with your beloved.
And know that there are many ways to express your love to your beloved. When you find yourself longing to hear her voice, talk to her out loud. Or sing him a song. Do you miss how she adored flowers? Plant her a garden. Paint him a picture. Play her favorite game. Use his deck of cards. Bring your head to your heart and have a conversation with them all the while.
Channel your love for your beloved into others. Do you feel emptiness around the time you would have shopped for her birthday? Shop for another child or a charity. Send a gift to his sibling or her cousin. When you miss your phone conversations, call his best buddy. When your heart aches over that annual trip you planned together, plan to visit her best friend.
Expressing and channeling my love for my son is something I have been doing since Perry returned to Spirit almost six years ago. I don't watch the calendar and I have learned to stay present rather than predict how I might or might not feel on a future day or week or month. I simply allow my heart to guide me and I allow whatever wants to arise to arise, without expecting a particular emotion. What I can observe now is that for the past six years, the days and weeks leading up to Perry's birthday, May 8th, my heart wants to express my love for him more than other times of the year.
Every year has been a bit different as to how I have expressed and channeled my love. I let my heart guide me and this year has been no different. This year my heart has led me to look through a lot of photos and scrapbooks. Even though I have only felt love and lightness so far this birthday season (and I am grateful for that), I still allow space for whatever emotions that might want to arise.
Channeling my love for Perry this season will include giveaways on my Facebook page over the next week, so be sure to like and follow my Facebook Page (Rachel Pearson, Spirit Messenger) to get in on the goodness! I'll also be sharing photos and stories of my sweet boy, so thank you in advance for indulging me...
When you express your love for your beloved, you express your love to your beloved. When you channel your love for your beloved, you channel your love to your beloved. Express your love. Channel your love. This will be healing to your heart and inviting to your beloved.
(Rayanna, Jonas, Perry, and Craig at a Celtic festival in Dayton, Ohio, two days before Perry returned to Spirit. We watched Irish dancers and strolled vendor booths. He and I admired tapestries and shared a favorite one that we agreed upon.)