When should I have another reading?
This is a question I frequently get asked by clients. The answer is personal, individual. There are so many factors that go into when an initial reading, or additional reading, is appropriate, that I can’t answer this question with a one-size-fits-all answer. And clients who may not yet be ready for another medium session may receive great benefit from a divine guidance session. So, the answer depends on the individual's unique circumstances and needs.
For example, some clients want a second reading soon after a first reading to receive messages for other loved ones here who (for various reasons) may not want a session for themselves. Spirit honors this act of generosity and tends to respond well, if all recipients are ready and open.
Other times, there is mystery surrounding a death and Spirit spends a lot of time with me revealing details that a client, or family, needs to know. This can take a lot of time and energy and, like the first example, a second session soon after a first session allows for Spirit to communicate their more loving memories and how they’ve been present in the lives of their loved ones since they have passed. Spirit honors these circumstances and responds well.
A change in life circumstances is often a greater factor than time having passed, when it comes to having a good subsequent reading. I could go on and on with examples, but I am all about empowering others, so I want to encourage you to go within for your own answers. This builds trust in your intuition/God-Spirit-Soul connection. I prefer to present questions to consider for yourself, rather than give you answers.
Assuming you have experienced a validating, comforting, and healing connection through a medium, ask yourself:
Do my loved one’s messages from yesterday still bring me comfort today?
Read your notes or listen to a recording from a past reading. Are the messages from your loved ones what you need to hear today? Do the words speak to your soul today? Keep in mind there is no time in heaven, and your loved ones may give you messages today that will continue to speak to you in your tomorrows.
More importantly, know that every time you sit with gratitude, reflecting upon messages you have already received, you send a loving message of appreciation and gratitude to your loved one in spirit in the present moment!
I still find myself sitting with the dream visit I received from my son shortly after he passed. I thank him for it, to this day, four years later. He said to me in his dream visit, “You loved me so, so well.” I don’t need to hear this from a medium, but he could give me this as a validation through a medium if I needed to be reminded of this message. (I prefer to take in what he has given me so that I am ready for new messages next time.) I can sit with my dream visit and relive the experience as if it was yesterday. Same goes for messages and validations he has brought me through other mediums.
Just because our loved ones are closer than we know, this doesn’t mean that it is easy or for our highest good that they make themselves known to us in evidential ways on a frequent, regular basis. After loss, we are like babies learning to walk. Our loved ones in spirit hold our hands and try to make themselves known to us in strong ways. Over time, however, it is for our highest good that they let go and stand back, always watching proudly, as we take our first steps into our new, unsteady life.
Another question to ask yourself is:
Am I too quick to turn to a medium (or other means of connection) when I am sad?
It is crucial to your healing that you allow yourself to just feel sad when feelings of sorrow arise. We can’t release what we don’t allow ourselves to first sit with and explore and, sometimes, wrestle with. An attempt to connect can become the most tempting means by which we bypass our grief and bury emotions that need our attention in order to release them. If we attempt to connect with a loved one in spirit every time we feel sad, we miss opportunity (as painful as it may be) to heal. We miss opportunity for our soul to grow and expand.
Learning to connect with our loved ones on our own can be very powerful and empowering. Yet, like readings with mediums, we need to take care not to become dependent upon connection with our loved ones through meditation or other means that we initiate. We need to step back and observe if we have adopted a belief that we should be able to experience connection at any time, by our own will.
Spirit will not reciprocate when it no longer serves your highest good and healing. In this regard, attempting to connect could add to your grief and you might feel disappointment, or even abandonment, when you attempt to connect at a time that is not for your highest good and healing.
Connection is stronger and clearer if you have emotionally released since your last connection. I know this from personal experience and from connecting with Spirit for over a thousand clients now. For example, connection is often easier, stronger, and clearer after heavy days on the calendar pass by. When a loved one in spirit shows up and communicates his or her birthday or death anniversary, this validation is obviously quite comforting to the recipient. And the entire session is likely to be validating, comforting, and healing. But, all things considered, connection is just better when the recipient’s energy is lighter.
If I, myself, feel led to see a medium, unless I feel led to schedule on a specific day or within a certain time frame, I would avoid scheduling a session in the days and weeks leading up to my own son’s birthday or anniversary of his passing. I know that I feel lighter after these days pass, and I understand that communication is three-way and my energy affects the process of communication, even though I have no doubt that I would receive comforting and evidential validations from him, regardless of the time I choose.
There are always exceptions. When someone has never had a reading and wants to know if their loved one is still alive and well, Spirit eagerly and powerfully responds, regardless of when and where. Timing seems to be a factor more so after one has already experienced an initial validating and healing connection through a medium.
When we are going through difficult circumstances such as illness or job loss or dealing with a loved one's illness or job loss, Spirit meets us where we are and will communicate powerfully, to help lighten the burden life has bestowed upon us, regardless of our energy. Our loved ones in spirit want us to know they are aware of new struggles and that they are supporting us and loving us through the difficult times.
Another question to ask yourself is this:
Have I continued my healing since my last connection? Am I helping myself? Am I doing things for my highest good and healing – mind, body, and spirit? If the answer is no and you have already had a session, you *may* experience a reading that does not meet your expectations, or you may receive answers you have already previously received. Along these lines…
Are you seeking the same answers? If so, ask yourself why. Is there a certain topic or question you find yourself wanting to be reassured of, over and over again? If so, consider that you may need to explore and release grief around this topic or question. You may need to surrender. Practice going within for your healing, first and foremost.
There is something really powerful and spiritually transformative about allowing ourselves to carry messages forward with us into our future. This seems to strengthen our own personal knowing of our connection with our loved ones in Spirit. Spirit seems to intimately respond to us when we hold our past messages close to our hearts, instead of constantly wanting new validations. I have observed phenomenal spiritual growth in my clients who have a reading and then rely on their relationship with their soul/God/Spirit to keep them moving forward in their healing.
My personal story is that I was led to a local medium’s group reading just four months after my son passed. This local medium held, and continues to hold, monthly group readings. My first 10-minute reading was exactly what I needed. It was powerful and healing. Yet, I still missed my son every day thereafter. I experienced painful emotions as I worked through my grief – before this reading and after this reading. It would have been easy to go to a group reading every month, or to schedule a private session with this medium. I could have looked for signs and reasons to return. Instead, I waited for my son to nudge me to go back. In the meantime, I experienced Perry’s presence near me, giving me opportunity to grow in trust of my personal connection with him.
Five months after that first reading, I felt led to take my daughter with me to the same medium’s monthly group reading. I asked my daughter if she wanted to go, and she responded positively. I experienced maybe 5 minutes of validations and messages. But it was enough. The medium gifted me additional time on the phone later that day -- probably 20 minutes. That was enough.
Six months later, on Halloween, I was in a mediumship mentorship group (not to connect with my son, but to understand my gifts in connecting for others) when I reached out to a fellow medium to barter. I received validations and messages, via text, of how Perry was with me and our family. I knew before this that Perry was with us, but my heart had really longed for the validation on this holiday that he had enjoyed with his siblings so much. I received validations through the medium that comforted me and gave me the strength I needed to keep getting up and doing what was for my highest good and healing – mind, body, and spirit.
I know my situation isn’t typical. Because I do connect with Spirit every day, I stay in a place of trust. I don’t need validation from my son to know we are connected. And because my colleagues are mediums, and I help others develop their own mediumistic gifts, I receive random and unexpected hellos and validations, and Perry helps me with my work – even in obvious ways, from time to time. It’s probably for these reasons that I haven’t felt the need or urge to schedule a reading with a medium since Halloween of 2016.
If I wasn’t a medium myself and I didn’t receive these little Hellos and validations from mediums and friends, I could see myself wanting to schedule a reading maybe twice a year, at this point of being over four years since my son has passed. Less frequently, if I didn't feel led to do so. Or more frequently, if I felt led to do so. I would set the intention and wait to be led. The right time to have a reading, or another reading, is when we feel led to do so. This is the only perfect answer to the question.
Even though I am in a unique position because of my work, I have noticed, through my work, that other people’s loved ones often visit friends and other family members, communicating via dreams and signs. So, I tend to believe that we all receive Hellos when we need them, through various means.
Sometimes we discount the Hellos by wanting a medium to validate these for us, but then we miss the opportunity to grow in trust and present relationship with our loved ones in spirit.
As time goes on, may we seek to become more content with knowing that our loved ones are always with us, without needing them to prove this to us. May we never forget that we are still in relationship with our loved ones, and may we do our part to make it as loving as possible. Coming to see our new relationship as it really is, and not needing our loved ones to constantly prove their presence to us, will parallel with coming to a place of acceptance in our grief.
Now I will share words I recently received as part of a powerful download from Spirit / my angels, via automatic writing. Their messages have inspired this post. I am sharing a few shorter excerpts from a very long message for me, personally, regarding this nature of relationship with our loved ones and my responsibility in my work:
We come to bring healing and light and yes, are surrounding the human and spirit bodies. There is no traveling that is not divinely orchestrated. We know the highest good of all, as God’s workers and beings of light. We know the pain one will inflict upon oneself if they seek answers they will not get, yet we know when they are asking questions of the same nature, for it is still the physical aspects that they are holding onto. For this reason, it may be for one’s highest good to not receive an answer at all if either the seeking or the answer slows their own growth and healing. We orchestrate the union when it is for the highest good of all to do so, when it is healing to do so. And yes, we do protect on both sides.
We are close, yet we travel a great distance to make our presence known. It is not travel, per se, in your sense of the word, but it would be appropriate for the humans to consider it travel or labor. (As your grandfather labored.) It should not be considered lightly that while we are aware and close, it is not a seamless feat to communicate in a way that is obvious to humans.
And while we understand the human condition and we are patient and loving, it would be better for us to be able to bring new. Even though we do not become resentful, it could be likened to a carpenter building a foundation and returning to find the foundation is gone and he must repeat work he had previously completed. What happened? Was my work not appreciated? Of course, we love you and it is not the same, but it would be wise for the humans to explore their hearts and really ask themselves if they yet have new questions or just variations of the same ones.
There are questions of the heart, and if one hasn’t sat in the darkness and required patience of oneself, the questions of the heart are of the same nature, over and over again, until they find themselves in a new place of healing. Then, new questions. So much needs to be reconciled when it comes to human death and mourning.
When they have truly received their messages and they have used their messages as a lantern to light their way into the darkness of their hearts, or to fuel their journey on their next leg of healing work (as you would say), then they will receive new messages. Sometimes there is a long span until they are ready for more, because the journey into the dark heart is a long one, but it is the only journey that leads to their soul’s growth. They do not realize the power that lies in the darkness and how close we can make ourselves known unto them if they begin to trust their own inner knowing and connection, rather than to repeatedly explore avenues outside of themselves.
Teach others to let their messages sit. Let them marinate and percolate within themselves. Teach others to cherish the messages they have already received from their loved ones -- to write them down, to write them upon their mirrors and their doorways, and upon the walls of their hearts – until their messages reach beyond the mind and penetrate into all the wounds and crevices in their hearts.